Memories & Feelings
by with-the-cullens
Summary: Ok… I know that there are a lot of other songfics like this, but the songs I use here are ones that I don’t see used a lot. I will also include links to the songs for each chapter on my profile. Please take it easy... this is my first story! :S
1. Leaving

This is a song that I always though worked in the scene where Edward was leaving. All the feelings that must have been going through her head as he said those painful words. Some of the context used is taken directly from the book New Moon.

* * *

"Come for a walk with me" he says in a tone that makes we want to protest, but I can't. So, here we are standing in the forest.

_Take it back, take it all back now  
the things I gave, like the taste of my kiss on your lips,  
I miss that now_

The many times I've kissed you, the countless times you've said you loved me, and now you say this?? "Bella, we're leaving"… those words ripped through me.

_I can't try any harder than I do  
all the reasons I gave, excuses I made for you  
are broken in two_

So you're a vampire, big deal. I want to be one too! I've made many excuses to friends on how you take so many "Camping Trips" whenever the weather is nice. After all I've done, you're still going to leave me here like this?!

_All the things left undiscovered  
Leave me empty and left to wonder  
I need you  
all the things left undiscovered  
Leave me waiting and left to wonder  
I need you  
Yeah I need you  
don't walk away_

Please… Don't do this to me! I need you. I want you. There's so much more I want with you. Just don't leave.

_Touch me now how I wanna feel;  
something so real, please remind me  
my love, and take me back_

Just take me with you. We could go away… just the two of us. I'd do anything, just don't leave me like this! Edward, my love, my life, take me and let's run away!

_Cuz I'm so in love with what we were  
I'm not breathing I'm suffocating without you  
Do you feel it too?_

I love you; I'll say it a thousand times more if it means you'll stay! We were so happy… and just because of one little mistake at a party, that I never wanted in the first place, you're just going to give up?!? "What happened with Jasper – that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" I shouted at him, trying anything to make him stay.

_All the things left undiscovered  
Leave me waiting and left to wonder  
I need you  
all the things left undiscovered  
Leave me empty and left to wonder  
I need you  
Yeah I need you_

"It was exactly what was to be expected" he replied… I didn't like where this was headed! I don't want to hear this… don't leave me, I need you!!

_When I'm in the dark and all alone  
Dreaming that you'll walk right through my door,  
it's then I know my heart is whole_

"This is about my soul isn't it? You can have my soul. I don't want it without you – it's yours already!" I protested, and you might as well take my heart too; it won't beat without you here either.

_There's a million reasons why I cry  
hold my covers tight and close my eyes  
Cuz I don't wanna be alone_

Tears streaming down my face, I stared at him looking into his eyes. They seemed frozen, like he was afraid of showing something. I closed my eyes, breathing in his sent, quite possibly for the last time. That thought brought chills running up my spine. I don't want to be without my angel.

_All the things left undiscovered  
Leave me waiting and left to wonder  
I need you  
all the things left undiscovered  
Leave me empty and left to wonder  
I need you, I need you_

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He said those words with no emotion. No, you can't mean that… either you're lying to me now, or you were lying when you said you loved me; and I refuse to think that's true. "You…don't…want…me?" the phrase came out like a question, a very weird question. "No" he replied plainly.

_Cuz I can't fake and I can't hate  
But it's my heart  
that's about to break_

I literally felt my heart rip from my chest. He doesn't want me, how is that even possible? Not that I didn't think it might come. I mean, he's perfect, a Greek god… it never did make sense for him to love me, a weak human. "Well, that changes things then"

_You're all I need  
I'm on my knees  
Watch me bleed  
would you listen please_

"I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that" My knees are beginning to shake, I don't want to do this; I don't want to hear this! "Don't… Don't do this!" Please don't walk away from me.

_I give in  
I breathe out  
I want you, there's no doubt  
I freak out, I'm left out  
without you, I'm without_

He pressed his cold lips lightly to my forehead for the slightest second, "Take care of yourself" he said as his cold breath blew across my face. What do you care, you're leaving, you don't want me. Then he was gone with the breeze.

_I'm crossed out  
I'm kicked out  
I cry out  
I reach out_

Gone… disappeared. I tried to follow him into the woods, but there was no sign of him. No footprints, no sign of him ever being here. He was gone, and never coming back again. 'It will be as if I'd never existed'… the words echoed through my head. The problem, Edward, is that you DID exist; you changed my life in so many ways.

_Don't walk away  
Don't walk away  
Don't walk away  
Don't walk away_

My knees buckled and I collapsed in a heap on the damp ground. I know I should have gotten up, but I didn't want to. My life, my love, my angel was gone; and he wasn't ever coming back again. He didn't want me, so what do I have to live for? He took my heart when he left. I might as well give up, and just die here in the woods. 'Goodbye my angel; I love you, and always will… even if you don't love me' I though as the darkness slowly closed in around me.

* * *

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	2. Without Her

Alright… chapter 2. This is a song that I thought fit for Edward during those couple of months while he was gone. This chapter was a little bit more difficult to write… I was trying to see things from Edward's perspective. I hope you all like it! :) The song is "Afterglow" by INXS

* * *

I've left her. My love, my angel, my Bella; and I've left her. Left her in that forest alone. Those were hardest moments of my existence.

_Here I am,  
Lost in the light of the moon,  
That comes through my window. _

I'm sitting here in an attic, somewhere in Brazil I think. To be honest, I don't remember where I am exactly. I've been here for god knows how long. My family has long since stopped calling, so it must have been a while._Bathed in blue,  
The walls of my memory divides,  
The thorns from the roses.  
It's you and the roses._

With no one here to bother me, it just leaves me with my thoughts; which could be just as bad… especially in this case. While sitting here all I can do is think. Think about what I did, think about what I'm going to do, think about how I'm going to live without _her_.**  
**_  
[CHORUS]  
Touch me and I will follow,  
In your afterglow.  
Heal me from all this sorrow,  
As I let you go.  
I will find my way  
When I see your eyes,  
Now I'm living,  
In your afterglow._

As much as I try not to, I can't help but think of Bella. She has changed my existence in so many ways. I was a better person, because of her. But in reality, I can't change what I am… a vampire, a bloodsucking monster. No matter what anyone says to me, I still blame myself for what happened at that party. I should have never brought her into my world, it was never safe for her._Here I am,  
Lost in the ashes of time,  
But who wants tomorrow,_

The only way I can tell that there is some sort of passing of time is the thoughts of the small family that are in the house below. If only they knew what kind of menace was living… no "living" isn't the right word… who was hiding in their attic, then maybe they would run. Run away from me, the way she never did. If she could only see the way I am now, maybe then she would understand why my family, my entire world; is not for her.

_In between,  
Longing to hold you again,  
I'm caught in your shadow.  
I'm losing control.  
_

If I could only feel her warm skin against mine again, see those beautiful eyes, smell her intoxicating sent once more; then maybe I'd be able to make it one more day, one more minute, hell, even one more second here in my pathetic excuse for an existence. No… I can't think like that! Those types of thoughts make it all the more difficult not to give up here and now, and run back to her.

_My mind drifts away,  
We only have today.  
_

Drifting back to thoughts of _her_ can't be good for my resilience. The worst part is that every time I close my eyes I see her pained eyes, the look she gave me as the reality slowly sank in that I was leaving. I believe what is most disturbing to me is the fact that she believed me so easily. Did she not hear me when I told her so many times that I loved her, that she was the most important thing to me ever. No, I guess not! I'm so sorry my love, I have deceived you.

**  
**_[CHORUS]  
Touch me and I will follow,  
In your afterglow.  
Heal me from all this sorrow,  
As I let you go.  
I will find my way,  
I will sacrifice,  
Till the blinding day,  
When I see your eyes._

If only I had her in my arms again; maybe then I could heal this pain that tears through my chest whenever I think of the day I left. I'm sure that eventually I'll get over this; although I know that I'll never move on. I made a solemn vow to her that if/when anything was to happen to her, I would not be far behind.

**  
**_Now I'm living,  
In your afterglow [in your afterglow].  
When the veils are gone,  
As I let you go,  
As I let you go._Moving on, or letting go as others put it, will be quite difficult for me. We vampires have an exceptional memory. Humans on the other hand… well in my opinion, I doubt she'll remember me by next year. What pains me is that her moving on means someone else will be there for her. Someone else will be holding her warm body in their arms, kissing those beautiful lips. Although vampires are easily distracted, nothing in this world could ever take the place of my angel, my Bella.

_[CHORUS]  
Touch me and I will follow,  
In your afterglow.  
Heal me from all this sorrow,  
As I let you go.  
I will find my way  
I will sacrifice,  
Now I'm living,  
In your afterglow._I suppose that eventually I will have to leave this place, go back to some sort of existence; but I can't bring myself to do that yet. I'm afraid that if I do leave my seclusion, my mind will force me to go back to her and beg her to take me back. So for now, I take in the sorrow that threatens to take me over and appreciate it, as it is the only thing I will ever feel from now on.

_Bathed in blue,  
The walls of my memory divides,  
The thorns from the roses.  
It's you who is closest._

Yes, you were close; we were close, but we can never be again. The monster in me will always win. My world is not for you my love. Your memory hurts, it hurts more than my transformation, it hurts more than death; but at the same time knowing of your existence comforts me, my life is death without you. My cold heart wants to think it's not over yet, that I can get back my life, but it's not possible, I know my angel must move on, even if it ends up killing me.

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Feel free to make comments. It doesn't take long, and it makes all my hard work worth it! 0:)


	3. Separation

This chapter does alternate ideas… I thought the song really worked for both Edward & Bella. I promise it will be very clear as to who is telling their part. This song is "When You're Gone" by Avril Lavigne

* * *

**Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.**

_I always needed time on my own,  
I never thought I'd, need you there when I cried.  
And the days feel like years when I'm alone,  
And the bed where you lie,  
Is made up on your side.  
_

[Edward]

I don't know how long it's been since I've seen the outside world, but it must be a long time. I haven't been out of my hiding spot in weeks; or was it months?? I always liked to have time to myself, but not like this. Not when all my thoughts continually drift back to _her_. If I could cry for her I would, but all I can do is wait. Humans always did have it easier. They can die so easily, it's not such a simple thing for me. The only thing that is keeping me on this earth is the fact that somewhere out there _she_ is still alive, and has probably forgotten all about me by now.

_  
When you walk away  
I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now?  
_

[Bella]

I still haven't quite grasped how long I was in my 'zombie' state, but I would gladly welcome it back. Anything in the world would be a better feeling then what I feel now. I can still remember the look in _his_ eyes when he said he didn't want me. And it still hurts just as bad as it did when he left. I would give anything in this world to have _him_ with me again. I still need him, no matter what he says.

_[Chorus]  
When you're gone,  
The pieces of my heart are missing you!  
When you're gone,  
The face I came to know is missing too!  
When you're gone,  
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day...  
And make it OK...  
I miss you._

[Edward]

My heart only felt alive when I was near you. You breathed life into me. Now I'm just an empty shell, all feeling gone. Perfect state for the monster I am. I'll always remember the perfect shape of your lips, your nose, the shine in your eyes, and the invigorating scent of your skin. I will miss all of that. Frightened to remember; terrified to forget.

_I've never felt this way before,  
Everything that I do,  
Reminds me of you.  
And the clothes you left,  
They lie on the floor,  
And they smell just like you,  
I love the things that you do!_

[Bella]

I didn't know it was possible to love someone so much. _"It will be as if I'd never existed"_, that was his promise when he left. How could he possibly make a promise like that, everything I do is about him, or reminds me of him at least. His enthralling sent has long since faded away, but I refuse to let his memory die. That's why I've been so reckless lately, to hear his voice. He can't keep his promise, and I'm not going to keep mine. Not that it matters anyways, he doesn't want me, so why would he care if I died, or got hurt at the very least.

When you walk away  
I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now?

[Edward]

When I walked away from her; well, needless to say… that was one of the hardest things for me to do. If she had simply said that she wanted me to stay, that she never wanted me to go, then I would have stayed. I'm sure that even now, if I had heard her say those words, I would gladly comply. Truth be told, I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out here. Every second is harder than the last; the urge to run back to her is almost overwhelming. I need her, she is my brand of heroin, and this separation is nearly killing me.[Bella]

[Chorus]  
When you're gone,  
The pieces of my heart are missing you!  
When you're gone,  
The face I came to know is missing too!  
And when you're gone,  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day...  
And make it OK...  
I miss you.

You took my heart with you, Edward; and you can keep it. I don't want it without you; it's always been yours anyways. The hole in my chest, where my heart used to be, will never heal. The frightening part is that the memory you; your lips, you marble chest, those mesmerizing topaz eyes, even your velvet voice; is all starting to fade. I need you to say you love me again; I need you to pull me in your cold embrace and tell me you'll never leave me again. I miss you, with all that's left of me.

_We were made for each other,  
Out here forever,  
I know we were,  
Yeah, Yeah!_

[Edward]

I do believe we were made for each other. Perhaps if we had met in another time and place, when I was still human, then we could be together happily. Without the constant worry that I may lose control. But instead, I'm left here cowering in this dingy little attic to prevent myself from doing just that. Right now, the pain and torture of not being with you is my only companion.

_  
All I ever wanted was for you to know,  
Everything I do I give my heart and soul,  
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me...  
Yeah!_

[Bella]

I'm sure you must know. You have to know that I have given you my everything. You were so worried about my soul? Well you have it now, do with it what you want. Ever since you walked away I haven't been able to breathe, I can't. The hole in my chest refuses to let me. I need you here to make me feel whole again, heal these wounds, and make me forget this pain.

[Chorus]  
When you're gone,  
The pieces of my heart are missing you!  
When you're gone,  
The face I came to know is missing too!  
When you're gone,  
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day...  
And make it OK...  
I miss you!

[Edward]

I never have, and never will, forget about you… you are my love, my life, my angel; and I love you and always will until the day we die, because I won't be far behind you.

[Bella]

I haven't moved on from you Edward Cullen and I don't think I ever will. I love you always and forever.

* * *

As you know... comments are always welcome ^_^


	4. Adrenaline

This is basically the time leading up to and including the infamous cliff diving scene. I thought the song worked because it says they can't forget how it is without something (and the song is beautiful ^_^) The song is "Lithium" by Evanesence

* * *

I still have no idea how long it has been since _he_ left, but this pain is still as fresh as the day he walked away.

_Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.  
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...  
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.  
Oh, but God, I want to let it go._

The hole in my chest burns every time I think of them… of _him_, but as much as it hurts. I don't ever want to forget. I don't think I'll ever be able to let him go either.

_Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone.  
Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show.  
Never wanted it to be so cold.  
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me__._

If I could just be in those cold arms again, holding me while I sleep, then maybe these nightmares would stop and I could get a decent night sleep! If you ever came back, I would give myself to you… body and soul. Drink my blood, because I know how it calls to you; and if you take my life, that's fine. I don't have much of a life without you anyways.

_I can't hold on to me,  
Wonder what's wrong with me._

Holding myself together whenever I think about you doesn't seem to be working anymore, I still feel like I'm falling apart. Maybe something is wrong with me… the 'Danger Magnet' as you always said. I know you left to keep me safe, but now I need you more than ever. Sure Jake and the rest of the pack are doing their best to take care of Victoria, but it's not the same. The only way that I'd feel safe is knowing that you are here with me.

_Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.  
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...  
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow._

I don't want to forget you Edward. I just wish I knew how to make you come back, and keep you here. For now, this pain is all I feel. Although I'm sure Charlie is glad I'm not in 'zombie' mode anymore. I'm a complete reject at school again, just like my first day here. The only thing that is missing is you… and I'd give anything to have that back!

_Don't want to let it lay me down this time.  
Drown my will to fly.  
Here in the darkness I know myself.  
Can't break free until I let it go.  
Let me go._

All that talk of _them_ today with Jake really cost me. This pain is worse than ever, and I'm gonna do the one thing that makes me feel whole, for a little while at least; be reckless… whenever I do my delusions of _him_ always come back to me. It makes me believe that somewhere on this earth my angel still cares about me. That's why I'm standing on this cliff, waiting to hear my love's beautiful voice once again.

_Darling, I forgive you after all.  
Anything is better than to be alone.  
And in the end I guess I had to fall.  
Always find my place among the ashes._

"Don't do this" he pleaded; the sound of his velvet voice made the pain bearable. _'You wanted me to be human… well watch me'_ I thought as I sprang off the cliff. As I fell I began to think of Edward again. _'I've already forgiven you for leaving…it never did make sense for you to love me. You are so perfect, and a mere human like me doesn't deserve your love. I guess I was a fool to think it would last.'_

_I can't hold on to me,  
Wonder what's wrong with me_.

As I sliced through the surface of the water and plunged deeper into the dark water, I realized the exceptionally strong tide that began to toss me around like a rag doll. "Keep swimming" Edward urged, but all I saw was darkness around me and I didn't know where to go. "Damn it, Bella, keep fighting!!" he yelled. _'Why should I?'_ I thought, _'You're not here and I can't take this pain anymore. Death is better than being without you any longer'_ Then that's when I saw _him_, and I didn't want to fight anymore. I saw Edward, every flawless feature, in perfect detail. At that moment the current took me over and shoved me abruptly into a rock. It hit me solidly across the chest, knocking the air out of my lungs. It was at that point that I knew this was the end.

_Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.  
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...  
Lithium, ...stay in love with my sorrow.  
I'm gonna let it go._

'_Goodbye, I love you'_ was my last thought, as I began slowly sinking to the bottom of the dark ocean floor.

* * *

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	5. I Won't Be Far Behind

Edward thinks that Bella, his angel, is dead. So, as he promised her, his death won't be far behind. Edward is on his way to Volterra. This song describes what I think Edward might have been thinking. This dark song is called "Like You" by Evanesence.

* * *

She's gone, and in the only way that I can't ever get her back. I thought that my leaving Forks would make it safer for her; but it appears to have only made it worse.

_Stay low.  
Soft, dark, and dreamless,  
Far beneath my nightmares and loneliness.  
_

The loneliness has been torture, but with you gone like this, I'm keeping my promise to you. '"_Anyway, you don't irritate the Volturi. Not unless you want to die – or whatever it is we do_'" I had told her, and I intend on sticking to it.

_I hate me,  
For breathing without you.  
I don't want to feel anymore for you._

I can't stand this pain any longer; and I'm not going to either. It's been hard enough these past couple months not to run back to you and beg forgiveness, but now I can't even do that! So that's why I'm here… on this plane, going to the only place where I can end this wretched way of life; and if your love has done anything to redeem me, I'll be with you again soon.

_Grieving for you,  
I'm not grieving for you.  
Nothing real love can't undo,  
And though I may have lost my way,  
All paths lead straight to you._

As I walk through the streets of Volterra, I think about how I'm actually going to do this. First, I'm going to ask if they will just finish me right away; although that's not likely, Aro has wanted me to join them for quite some time. I'm more inclined to find some other way to provoke them. Kill an innocent human? No… I can't do that to my family, or to Bella's memory, not after everything that Carlisle had to work for to get us where we are now. This may prove more difficult than I thought.

_I long to be like you,  
Lie cold in the ground like you._

How could you do something so foolish, Bella? Jumping off a cliff… after hearing Esme's story, you still do something like this! Did you expect me to save you as Carlisle did her? To be honest, if I had been there I probably would have. Damn it… why couldn't I have been there! I'm sorry my love, I wish I could have saved you.

_Halo,  
Blinding wall between us.  
Melt away and leave us alone again.  
The humming, haunted somewhere out there.  
I believe our love can see us through in death._

Standing in front of those powerful vampires was a little intimidating, but I have a mission and I'm not going to let some slight intimidation stand in my way. I knew they wouldn't accept my offer. Now I have to find some other way to tick them off. This would all be a hell of a lot easier if I weren't bound by immortality. Then again, if I _were_ human I wouldn't have to be here in the first place. Sadly that also means I would have died long ago, and never have met my angel, my Bella. Sometimes you just can't win. If I do succeed in this, my wish is that our love will bring us together again; wherever that may be.

_I long to be like you,  
Lie cold in the ground like you.  
There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,  
I'm coming for you._

What else could I possibly do to get their attention? I've already ruled out attacking a human. I could use my strength and throw a car through a wall, which might work. Then, as I realized the time of day, it hit me. My only other option I can think of is to walk into the sun, just like I did for _her _in our meadow that first time, but of course this is for a VERY different reason.

_You're not alone,  
No matter what they told you, you're not alone.  
I'll be right beside you forevermore._

As I head toward the _Palazzo dei Priori_ I realize the reason for the crowds of people. It's 'Saint Marcus Day', how ironic. They won't like this one bit, if I'm lucky they'll act that much quicker. I'll wait until high noon and walk into the plaza and await my demise.

_I long to be like you, sis,  
Lie cold in the ground like you did.  
There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you._

With only moments to go, my mind drifts back to thoughts of my Bella. I'm sorry my love, I wish I'd never left you. "No! Edward, look at me!" I faintly heard _her_ voice yell. Then something ran into me, and I looked down only to see my Bella. "I can't believe how quick it was. I didn't feel a thing—they're very good," I mused as I smelled her intoxicating scent once more. "So maybe this _is_ hell. I don't care. I'll take it"

_And as we lay in silent bliss,  
I know you remember me._

"We're not dead, not yet! But we have to get out of here before the Volturi—" she said. Wait, why would she be worried about the Volturi? If we are both dead then she shouldn't care, unless… we aren't dead. But if that's the case… then I heard _them_ I immediately moved Bella behind me to protect her; I don't want ANY of the Volturi anywhere near her.

_I long to be like you,  
Lie cold in the ground like you.  
There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,  
I'm coming for you._

Once we were on our way to see Aro, going through that dingy underground tunnel, I held Bella close to my side. After we got up there, who knew what their plans were. I was going to take any kind of reunion I could get. If they do decide to attack I will do whatever I can to slow them down in order to give her and Alice a chance to escape, no one else is going to die because of my foolishness. As we entered the building I knew this was going to be difficult.


	6. Saving An Angel

This is a song that kinda explained Bella's feelings when she is on her way to save Edward in Volterra. She knows that she can't live without him, and she'll do anything in her power to save him. This is a beautiful song by Evanesence called "Good Enough".

* * *

"Edward" was all she whispered, suddenly everything clicked. It wasn't Carlisle on the phone… it was Edward, and when Jacob said 'at the funeral' he assumed it meant MY funeral. That's when I remembered what Edward had said to me that evening that felt like a lifetime ago… "_Well, I wasn't going to live without you… you don't provoke the Volturi, not unless you want to die"_. "NO!!" I yelled as I realized where he was going, "Let's go!" I have to save him… my angel; I can't let him do this.

_Under your spell again,_

_I can't say no to you._

_Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hands,_

_I can't say no to you._

We made our flight with little time to spare. Waiting for the plane to take off was pure torture; Alice had to hold me down to stop me from bouncing anxiously in my seat. Hearing Alice retell her visions of Edward's plans to Jasper didn't help my anxious mood either. Once Alice began telling me about who the Volturi were it made me all that more scared for my life, for Alice… for Edward. How can he do this?

_Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly.  
Now I can't let go of this dream.  
I can't breathe but I feel..._

"And the Volturi will get us if we mess up." I asked and Alice stiffened. "You say that like it's a good thing." she said. _Of course it's a good thing, I'm not leaving Italy without Edward; even if it means dying for him._ I just shrugged.

Good enough,  
I feel good enough for you.

As Alice began to attempt to see if _he_ had changed his plans, it gave me time to think. I didn't want to think about the horror we were heading towards, that is if I didn't want to scream out loud. I instead decided to think of the 'What if…'. What if we were very, very, _very_ lucky, and we actually made it in time to save Edward. I knew that he wouldn't come back to me, I'm not any different than I was when he left and said he didn't want me. And if we didn't make it in time and those monsters killed him; then I would do my best to find some way to 'take care' of myself, despite what Alice may try. So I set myself up to lose Edward again, no matter what happens.

Drink up sweet decadence.  
I can't say no to you,  
And I've completely lost myself, and I don't mind.  
I can't say no to you.

As the first plane touched down Alice was still in her trance. The jarring touchdown of the plane finally broke it. "He's getting closer. He's deciding how he's going to ask." She said as we took off to catch our connecting flight. Once the plane took off again Alice went back into her trance. Finally after worrying about Charlie and Jacob I fell asleep.

Shouldn't let you conquer me completely.  
Now I can't let go of this dream.  
Can't believe that I feel...

After what felt like minutes Alice woke me. "What's wrong?", "It's not wrong." She smiled fiercely. "It's right. They're deliberating, but they've decided to tell him no." That relieved very little of the worry I was feeling, we could still be too late. After another while Alice began to talk again. "They've told him no", she explained, with no enthusiasm; that worried me. "What's he going to do?" I asked, starting to panic. "There was a bad hour," she whispered. "He'd decided to go hunting." He wouldn't do that to Carlisle would he? I couldn't imagine Edward doing that to Carlisle and Esme, he respects them far too much for that.

Good enough,  
I feel good enough.  
It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good.

"He's going to keep it simple. He's just going to walk out into the sun." Alice explained, and I knew from experience that Edward in the sunlight is not something humans would soon forget. I knew that the Volturi wouldn't allow that. Looking at the sun rising I began to worry. "We'll be too late," I whispered. "He'll wait till the sun is exactly overhead." That gave me a little hope, if we are lucky we have until noon to save my angel. As the plane began to descend Alice asked "How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?" If it will get us there faster, I don't really care; I have to get to Edward.

And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.  
Pour real life down on me.  
'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough.  
Am I good enough for you to love me too?

As we began speeding down the road in the bright yellow porche that Alice 'borrowed' I started getting anxious. Will I make it in time? Finally we made it to the city, but the roads were blocked off because of the festival. After Alice bribed the guard to get us into the city we didn't get very far. "Just keep asking for the _Palazzo dei Priori_, and running in the direction they tell you. Don't get lost." She told me and I started running as fast as I could, and hoped I didn't fall. I really didn't have time to be my clumsy self today!

So take care what you ask of me,  
'cause I can't say no.

"Edward, no!" I screamed, but my voice was lost in the roar of the chime. I could just see him now. I slammed into him so hard that the force would have hurled me to the ground if his arms hadn't caught me and held me up. "So maybe this is hell. I don't care. I'll take it." "I'm not dead," I interrupted. "And neither are you! Please Edward, we have to move. They can't be far away!" Finally he realized what was actually happening and he moved me behind him as the dark cloaked figures walked gracefully towards us. As they did I realized that this was the best I could hope for at the moment. Edward was still 'alive', but if the Volturi had their way; it may not be for long.

* * *

Comments, Comments, Comments!! Make my little human heart happy... pwetty pwease with and Edward on top :P


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